You Will Be Found
by AlienBabyLucy
Summary: What if Connor was found before it was too late? What if Evan hadn't lied about his arm? Well, they'd end up in Wellrock, a behavior (or mental as most patients called it) hospital. TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, ANGER, SELF HARM, AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING ELSE
1. Before - Connor's Story

**Author's Note** **So I know this isn't very close to what happened canonically, but it's what happened to me. This** ** _is_** **partially my own story, just put into these characters. So, um, yeah.**

 ** _Tr_** ** _igger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts/Attempt(od), Puking and Hallucination_**

 **Connor's Story:**

Sunday

"Ugh, another lecture. Like I don't know what I did was bad. I can't stand this. They keep saying that they're so disappointed and they just can't believe I did this. I guess I'll just sit here, and listen," Connor thought to himself.

As yet another family member told him how horrible what he done was, a voice popped into his head. "You're such a _failure._ A _disappointment_. _Useless_. You could _kill yourself,_ ya know. They'd be _so_ _much better off_ without you. You know it. You have those pills in ypur bag, when you go to shower, take them. All of them. **_I promise it's better when you're dead_**."

Connor took a deep breath and agreed that's what he'd do. It would be better than getting lectured constantly, being told everyone's disappointed in you. Hell, his own mother send him away. She said she _"couldn't handle him"_ and tried to send him back to the hospital. When that didn't work, she sent him to his grandparents who, after a day, sent him to his aunt's. His aunt had been talking for what felt like hours, tearing him down in every word. He sighed of relief when his aunt and cousins finally came back from the store and the hell ended.

~ A Few Hours Later ~

After they ate dinner and his uncle had taken the oldest two (twins) to bed, Connor grabbed his backpack.

He had written notes using his sketch pad paper while his aunt and uncle cooked; one for his mom and one for Zoe. He didn't bother with everyone else, he was trying to be discreet and didn't - no, couldn't - get too worked up.

"I'm gonna go shower," Connor said to his aunt, who replied with a simple "Okay."

He walked into the bathroom and locked the door. He got the bottle out and tried to break a pencil sharpener for the blade, but it didn't work. He stripped to his underwear, seeing it awkward for someone to find him dead completely naked, and grabbed the bottle. He put it under the facet and put water into it, thinking he could do this and save time. He was wrong. He kept taking the pills that were dissolving until they were gone. He took a few outside, but most inside the shower. He sat down and started feeling the pills kicking in. His tongue started to feel weird and his lips fuzzy.

Then, a knock came. "You okay?" It was his uncle. He heistated, but replied with a "yeah."

He tried to go to sleep, but he just couldn't. Soon, his aunt knocked. "Hey, you need to hurry up. It's time for you to take your medicine." Connor panicked.

"I can't!" He said, his aunt was trying to open the locked door as he said it. "I already took them all!" His aunt grabbed the key and opened the bathroom door.

"You **what?!** "

Connor quietly repeated himself, having never seen his aunt thithis upset. He got out of the shower and sat on the toliet as his uncle called 911 and his aunt called his mom and grandparents.

His grandparents were the first to show up, then his mom, finally the firefighters and police.

His aunt grabbed him one of her scrub shirts and he put it on before walking into their living room. He was shaking and drooling uncontrollably.

When he sat down, one officer took his pulse while another asked him how he felt.

"The ambulance won't be here for fourty minutes," an officer said.

"Can we take him to the hospital? I'm not going to let my grandson die," his grandfather said.

"Yeah, of course. We'll tell them you're coming," said the officer.

Connor was given some flip flops that weren't his and, with his mom and aunt helping him, walked into the cold night to his grandfather's truck.

They quickly got to the er and were taken back immediately. His mom, aunt, and grandma all came back with him, while his grandpa waited in the waiting room.

He was taken to a room with two beds, though the second bed was not occupied. He sat on the bed and the nurse came in. After about twenty pokes, the finally drew blood and got him hooked to an iv. He didn't know what the clear liquid was, but he figured it would clear out his system.

~ About Fourty Minutes Later ~

His mom left for a while and his aunt and grandma watched over him. He was still drooling, but not as bad. They put a towel on his chest and he had a rag to wipe away the drool.

He couldn't look at the sad faces next to him, so he lifted up his hand. It was normal for a second, then the word "CRAZY" was all over. Over and over. He kept staring, and a few seconds later, the words turned into bugs, crawling down his arm. He was about to scream when his grandma said something to him, pulling him out of his haze.

~ Another Twenty Minutes Pass ~

Soon, he's not drooling nearly as much, but he's twitching every few minutes. His family debates whether he's faking and when his lip twitches, his aunt goes and tells a nurse. After about twenty minutes, it stops.

~ Eleven pm ~

Everyone left, except for his mom and dad. Zoe was at someone's house Connor guessed.

~ An Hour Later ~

Connor felt nauseous. Really nauseous. When his nurse came in, he told them and was given a green barf bag. He soon began puking. And it burnt like hell. Worse than his stomach had.

After about two hours of puking off and on, Connor went to sleep, his dad staying up all night to watch him while his mother slept as well.

Another Author's Note

There's chapter one. Wow. Um, yeah. This was a bit hard to write, but it honestly helped a bit. I hope you enjoyed and will continue to read.

~ Lucy


	2. Before - Evan's Story

**Author's Note:** **This one will be slightly more canonically accurate than the last.** ** _Trigger Warnings: Suicidal Thoughts/Attempt_** **Evan's Story** Monday Morning

"I... I can't do this anymore, " Evan thought. "I need to do this. It's for the best."

He climbed up the tallest tree. When he got to the highest branch, tears were running down his face. He checked to make sure his note for his mom was in his pocket, then he jumped.

~ Thirty Minutes Later ~

A park worker finds Evan, passed out. They call 911 and an ambulance shows up about fourty minutes later. His mom is called via his contact list and she rushes to his room in the er.

~ A Few Hours Later ~

Evan woke up confused. His arm hurt horribly and he slowly sat up. "W-where am I?"

"Evan! Oh my goodness... I was so _afraid._ Sweetie, what happened?" Heidi said, tears in her eyes and streaks down her face.

"T-the branch b-broke... " Evan quietly said.

"Ev, they found a note in your pocket... Please, just tell me the _truth._ "

Evan started crying. "I'm s-so s-sorry, M-Mom. I... I just couldn't take it anymore."

Heidi nodded and hugged her son tightly. "You're gonna go somewhere to get help. I've tried my best to help you here, but it hasn't been enough. You'll stay there until you're better. I'm doing this because _I love you, Evan."_ Evan softly nodded his head and hugged his mother tightly while crying.

Author's Note 

So, fun fact, the first time I was in the hospital my mom wrote me a letter saying almost exactly what Heidi last told Evan. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your feedback, so leave a message.


	3. Admission

Monday, Eight am.

 **Connor**

"Are you ready to go?" Connor had been given a pair of paper scrubs and some underwear they give people after they have a baby, at least that's what his aunt told him.

~ Before ~

An hour earlier, his aunt and mom had left to get him some clothes and for his mom to shower.

During that time, a nurse asked him if he was hungry. He quickly said yes as he hadn't had food in his body for around ten hours. About ten minutes later, the nurse came back with a cart filled with food. Pancakes, bacon, fruit, juice, cereal, milk, eggs, and even a huge sugar cookie. Connor ate a bit of each, but only the fruit and the juice was any good. The rest was just tastless hospital food.

~ Back To Where We Were ~

Connor got up and stretched. He waved his dad a goodbye and followed his mom and aunt out to the waiting room. He told his grandparents goodbye and they went to his mom's car. He got into the backseat, his mom in the driver's seat, and his aunt in the passenger seat.

As they started driving, Connor stared out the window, reflecting on what had happened. Then, his mom and aunt started telling him how selfish suicide was and how he did it for attention and that they weren't going to come see him everytime they can this time around. He just kept quiet, speaking when needed.

They arrived at the hospital an hour or so later.

"God, I hope they're eating soon. That hospital food was disgusting and I'm hungry," Connor thought.

They all used the bathroom, and his mom filled out a few papers. Soon they were taken back so Connor could get an assessment.

 **Monday Morning** **Evan**

Soon, Evan and his mom were able to leave to go to the hospital. They got into Evan's mom's car and started driving.

"Don't worry, Ev. You can call me every night. I'll switch my break to when you get call time, my boss will understand and let me. I've heard **good things** about this place. It's called Wellrock Regional Hospital. They'll have a lot of teens your age going through the same things as you are. They'll keep you safe, Evan. Unlike, I did... I knew I'd come short a million ways, but how did I not miss the signs that you were that hurt?" Heidi said the last part quietly, almost crying.

"M-Mom, you're s-so busy, you c-couldn't have noticed. I-it's okay. "

The rest of the car ride was silent.

Evan grabbed his bag and his mom's hand. They walked inside and his mom did a little paperwork. They were taken into the assessment area and Evan saw another guy who looked to be his age. He sat down and the boy looked up.

"H-hello," Evan said nervously with a little wave.

"Go to hell," the boy replied. The woman next to him, presumably his mother, gasped.

"Watch your language, Connor!" The woman scolded.

"So his name's Connor..." Evan thought. Just as he thought that, Connor was called back into a small room.

~ Ten Minutes Later ~

Evan saw the boy tell his mother goodbye and avoid her hug. He watched his mother being taken one away and the boy another. He was so caught up in watching them, he didn't hear his name get called.

"Evan?" The man said again and Evan went into the little room.

"Hello, Evan. My name is Toby. I'm a nurse here and I'll be doing your assement. Now, I'm going to be asking you a few questions and I need you to answer them honestly, okay?"

"Okay."

"What is your birthday?"

"Height?"

"Have you ever been abused?"

"Have you _ever_ used drugs or alcohol?"

"Have you ever had a hallucination?"

Evan answered the questions easily, until the final one.

"Why are you here?"

"I-I-I j-jumped out of a tree... T-t-trying to kill myself..." Evan started crying and Toby nodded his head sympathetically.

"Okay, Buddy. You're all set. We're gonna tell your mom?"- Evan nodded - "goodbye and then you'll go back to the unit. Okay?"

"O-okay. " Evan gave his mom a big hug and cried.

"I'll come see you soon, Ev. I love you, sweetie," Heidi told him.

Evan waved as they were slipt up, Heidi going to the outside world, and Evan going to whatever was behind that door.

Author's Note

So those are some of the questions you get asked in your assessment. There's a ton more, I just can't remember them all too well. Amyways, I hope you enjoyed and I would love ypur feedback.

Stay safe,

~ Lucy


	4. Welcome To Wellrock

**Connor POV:** We go through a few doors and we reach the place where I'll be for at least the next three days. I see a sign that reads "Unit 6".

We walk in and it's big to say the least. Someone at the desk has my backpack and I look around. There's a lot of teens here. There's a huge window, like an entire wall of window, and outside it a ten foot wood fence. There's five tables, the ones towards a white board smaller and the one towards some sort of cabinet bigger.

"Connor? We need to take your weight and give you a skin assement."

I followed a man into a laundry room where a scale was. My weight was taken and he was taken into another room. The roon had two beds, two bookshelf-cubbie things, two nightstands, and a bathroom. Another man came in and I had to partially strip. They marked down every scar on his body.

"This will be your room. You can go to group room now," said one man.

When I came back, everyone except two boys had left. I was told I couldn't leave the unit in the scrubs and was given a lunch. I sat at a table, alone, and opened the styrofoam container. There was a big cheese buger with white American cheese, fries, and baked beans. I ate and looked and took in my new environment. Then, the boy from the waiting room came through the door.

 **Evan's POV:** "This place is huge. Where is everyone? Is that a food cart? What is going to happen? God, my mind is going a million miles an hour." I took a deep breath and followed Toby into a laundry room where he took my weight.

We went into a room that looked very nice for a hospital. Not at all what I expected. Toby and another man gave me a skin assement and it was awful.

"This is your room. You're roomate is Connor I think," the unknown man said. I nodded and we left the room.

I was offered some lunch, but I turned it down. I was way too anxious to eat. My appetite had disappeared. I saw the boy from the other room. Connor, I think his name was.

"That must be my roomate. I should sit by him. " I thought and sat by him.

"H-hi. I'm E-Evan. You're r-roomate. " I gave him a slight smile which was returned with a glare.

"Leave me alone... " Connor replied. I nodded and sat at my own table. Soon, the door open and about ten other teens came in.

Connor and Evan are on the unit now. What will happen next?

Author's Note

Also, they really do give you a skin assessment and it's really awkward. The first place I went make you strip entirely, but the second place - which this place is based off of - just made me pull up/down my shirt/pants. They also take your weight and, depending again on where you are, take it weekly. And that's what it looked like and actually what I ate when I first got there.

I hope you enjoyed! Leave feedback if you'd like. Please also tell me when I should update? Once a week? More? Please tell me. I'll also be answering questions about being hospitalized on here, so leave a comment.


	5. Day One, The Worst

**_Trigger Warning: Self harm thoughts, panic attack, violence._** **Third Person POV:** The other teens came back from the cafeteria and went back to their tables. Two sat with Evan.

"Hello. I'm Sally," said a girl with long brown hair, a P!ATD shirt, and glasses.

"And I'm Taylor, " said a boy who looked like he just walked off a modeling set. He had short brown hair, a brilliant smile, and was pretty cute to top it all off.

"H-hi. I'm Evan, " Evan said nervously.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Asked Sally.

"O-oh... um... I-I... jumped... out of a tree... " Evan said, curling into himself.

"Hey, don't worry. We wont judge. We all have problems here, but we're here to get better," Taylor reassured.

"Thank-Thank you," Evan slightly smiled.

"Hey. I'm John," a boy with medium-length hair said to Connor.

"Go away," Connor replied coldly.

"Hey, buddy, I'm just trying to make you feel more comfortable."

Connor slammed his hands onto the table and got up, all eyes on him.

"I'm. **Not.** Your. _Buddy."_ The room was dead silent. Connor walked down the shorter hall, going right. Down that hall were two rooms that were actually a part of unit six.

Connor grabbed a sign off the wall and broke it over his knee and then he punched the wall. A staff member, also known as a tech, came over towards him. Connor held a piece of the sign, the point faced at the tech.

"Come on now, man. It's okay. Just drop the sign," said the techtech, whose name tag read "Wes."

Connor saw that he was serious and dropped the sign, following the man into the quiet room.

Evan heard Connor slam his hands on the table and yell. He felt the tears build up in his eyes, the panic in his chest, his breath taken away. As Connor got more and more violent, Evan got worse. He curled up, holding his knees. He started crying quietly, not wanting anyone to get upset with him. He started taking short, quick breaths and closed his eyes.

"Evan? Are you okay?" Asked Taylor. When Evan didn't respond, Sally got up to get someone. Toby, the nurse from earlier that day, walked up to Evan.

"Evan? Evan? Hey, come in here with me." Evan shakily got up and followed Toby into a room with the sign "Group Room 2" beside the door. The room had two white boards, one covered in writing, and chairs lined the walls.

"Okay, Evan. I need you to breathe for me. In and out, in and out." Evan nodded and tried to breathe, slowly calming down. Once he waswas calm enough, he stared at the floor, embrassed.

"Hey, this is okay, Evan. It's normal. It's okay. Now, I'm going to give you a prn. Is that okay?" Toby asked.

"Ye-Yeah," Evan replied.

Toby smiled and said, "Okay. Let's get you back in there. They're doing a group now and then we'll have a break, another group, then snack."

"Okay. Can-Can we go back?"

"Of course."

Toby gave Evan Benadryl and sent him back to the group.

He got another prn and water cup ready for Connor, who was still in the quiet room

Connor sat there, in the empty, white room. There was mearly a chair and on one side a circular mirror and the other a camera. He sat there embrassed, ashamed.

"Damn it.. I wasn't supposed to be here... I was supposed to be dead... " Connor whispered to himself under his breath. He sighed and stared at his arm, already covered in scars.

"What's one more?" Cobnor asked himself with a slight, sad, laugh.

Author's Note

Oof. So, a guy really did what Connor did. Not exactly, but the guy got mad, broke a sign, and used it to scare the techs. A tech is someone who leads the groups, does the paperwork, and just generally watches patients. Some are good, some are bad. I'm not gonna change the staff members names, because it's confusing enough with the patients, tbh.

An extra special thanks to Flyingpotaowo for favoriting and following this story and me! Wow. I'm honestly just shooketh.

If you have any mental health/hospital questions leave a comment. Also for a shoutout tell me if you've favorited or followed this story!

I will post a chapter a week from now on, but I don't know which day. Wednesday or Friday?


	6. The First Evening

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE HELP**

 _So I got an email saying I got a review from A DEH fan that reads "_

 _A DEH fan:Amazing story, pretty close to Canon actually. In Canon it's pretty vague so all we know is he took an overdose and ended up in a park." Yet, I can't find it on here. Please help me figure this out and if you made the review, thank you **so much!**_

 ** _Tr_** _ **igger Warning: Graphic Self**_ _ **Harm And Eating Disorder/ Body Dysmorphia**_

 **Connor POV:**

I sighed and looked at my arm again. "Nobody's here to stop me... " I thought. I slowly put my thumb and index finger together and brought it towards my arm. I started scratching, over and over at the same spot. I heard someone coming and stopped, I had already gotten a bit of skin away anyways.

Then, Wes walked into the quiet room. "Hey, do you want a snack?"

I sighed. Of course, they make you eat like five times a day here and the other place. "Sure. "

"Okay, but you gotta come eat out here," said the dark skinned man. I left the room, got my snack and sat against the wall.

Wes sat next to me. "Why'd you do that to your arm for?"

"I just... Why's it matter to _you_?"

"Listen, I know you're mad about something, but you can't stay mad at the world forever. If you're here, why not take advantage of it? Get better? You **can** become a better version of yourself, but you have to **want to.** And not for anyone else, for _yourself_."

"Wow... I-I never thought of it like that... I'm going to become better.."

Wes smiled. "Really?"

"Hell no. Stop telling me your mumbo-jumbo bullshit!" I got up and sat at the table where I used to be.

 **Evan POV:**

A man named Will gave a group about how "we" is in "wellness" and had us meditate, but not how I've ever seen it done. We layed our heads on the table and closed our eyes and he played music and talked. I, and basically everyone, almost fell asleep.

Then he left and now we're eating Oreos with milk. Out of nowhere a new girl sits at our table.

"H-hi. I'm Lavender," the girl with short brown hair and purple glasses said.

"Hi, I'm Sally."

"I'm Taylor and that's Evan," Taylor said, pointing towards me. I gave her a small wave.

"Why are you here? If you don't mind me asking, of course," Sally said.

"O-oh, yeah. I'm here for my depression, anxiety, ptsd, self harm, and mostly my eating disorder. My family _swears_ I'm bulimic, but I think I have eating disorder not otherwise specified. Like, I have times where I purge, where I overexercise, binge, and have no appetite at all. It's weird."

"Oh. That-that sounds h-hard," I said.

Lavender gave a sad smile. "Yeah, I guess it does. I just, I'm fat and gross and need to lose weight. I can't stand my body... " Lavender said the last part quiter than the rest.

"You are _**not**_ fat. At all. Seriously," Taylor told her.

"That's what everybody says except my thoughts, ya know?" Lavender gave out a sad laugh. "It's not like I _hate_ eating, I _love_ eating, honestly. I just... I weigh too much and eat too much and I just wanna be pretty... " Lavender curled into a ball.

"You **are** pretty," Sally said.

"You guys are really nice, but that's not gonna change how I feel. I'm sorry," Lavender said with a sigh.

I wanted to say something, but another group had started.

~ An Hour And A Half Later ~

"Okay, it's time for dinner. Everyone line up except safeties Connor and John," said a woman named Kamra.

I followed everyone to the double doors at the front. I got into the boy's line and once everyone was there, we left. We went down a set of lockee double doors, then went into the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was _huge._ There were at least fifteen tables with four seat each, and a huge wall of just window. We got into line and I was amazed. There were salads, fruit cups, pudding, plus the main course and vegetables.

I got my food and sat with my table mates, well, Taylor and I were at one table and Sally and Lavender were at the table beside us. I guess boys amd girls aren't supposed to sit together? I sat there and picked at my food, wanting to go back so desperately.

 **Connor's POV:** John sat with me, but I decided to give the guy a shot this time. My anger was gone, for now at least.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Connor."

"I'm over it. So what does this safety shit mean?"

"We have three levels. Level three is beginner, level two gets a pop at lunch and dinner, and level one gets two pops at lunch and dinner and gets to stay awake longer. Safety means you've threaten to hurt yourself or others and didn't contract - basically agree to talk to someone instead of doing it - or you actually did hurt someone else or yourself."

"Oh. So why are we stuck here?"

"Safeties can't leave the unit, unless you've been good or it's for a group. You'll get off safety in twenty four hours, don't worry. Wes usually lets us go to the gym anyways."

"The gym?" I asked as we both took bites of food while the other talked.

"It's pretty big and just has a hoop, some balls, and a rock wall. But the rock wall is for at, or activity therapy, only," John explained.

We finished eating and the other people came back. I saw _him. Evan._ God, I was so _**horrible**_ to him. He was so nice, and a cutie too.

"Hey, Evan. Come sit with me," I said, slightly regretting, but only slightly. I noticed he hesitated, but sat.

"Look, Evan, I'm sorry I was such a jerk in the waiting room thing."

"You-you gave me a panic attack," Evan said, his voice heartbreaking.

I felt horrible. Ashamed. "Evan, I'm so sorry. I just, my anger, it got the better of me. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"I forgive you, Connor. Please don't do it again."

"I'll try my best."

"What-what happened to your arm?" Evan asked.

"I scratched it."

"That bad-badly. With your sho-short nails?"

"Heh, yeah." I sighed and looked down.

"Anyone who wants to go to the gym, line up," Wes said.

"Wanna go?" I asked Evan.

"U-ummm sure."

We lined up and went to the gym.

I sat against the rock wall and everybody else played basketball, except for Lavender. She was in a corner doing jumping jacks.

She did hundreds of them, looking more and more exhausted. I could only hope she was okay.

When we got back from the gym, it was time for showers.

"You shower f-first. They-they've gotta wrap up my cast.. " I told Connor who nodded, grabbed his hygiene basket and left.

I saw Lavender grabbing her hygiene basket and she looked sick. "Hey Lavender, how many jumping jacks did you do?"

"A thousand," she said and walked away.

When Connor finished, I got into the shower. When I got out it was dark and they had started another group.

"Evan, you have a phone call from your mom," Wes told me. I gulped and walked over there.


	7. The First Phone Call

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: UPDATE**

 _So I had to go onto their desktop website and login to monitor reviews, but now the lovely review is up and I'm super excited! Please leave more reviews and hospital questions!_

 **E** **van POV:**

Evan, go to the second phone. I'll transfer your call," said Wes. I nodded and went where I was told to go.

The phone rang twice and I picked up. "H-hello?"

"Evan, oh baby, how are you doing? I miss you _so much._ "

"Okay. I mean, I had a panic attack, but I'm okay."

"Oh honey. I'm sorry. You'll get better, I believe in you. _You_ just need to believe in _you._ "

I started crying. "I-I know.. I'm sorry..."

"Evan, I love you so much. Please get better. I have to go now."

"B-bye." I hung up the phone and sat back at the table where I first sat.

We had finished all our daily groups, so the tv was on. I layed my head down and sighed.

 **Connor POV:** I had saw Evan crying on the phone, I saw he hadn't sat with me, I saw how hurt he was. And it shattered my heart.

"Connor? Your mom is on the line. Go to the first one," said Wes.

I walked over to the phone and waited for it to ring. Once it did, I picked up.

"Hello?"

"Connor, oh honey, I miss you so much. I hope you get better," Mom said.

"What? **You** think I'm a **freak _too?!_** "

"Connor, no. I just..."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and went back to the day room. I tapped on Evan's shoulder.

"Hey, come sit with me?"

"O-okay," Evan said and sat next to me.

"Why'd ya get upset, Evan?"

"I... I... Um, I just... My mom... I know she won't be able to afford this or medication and it's all my fault she's upset and I'm horrible and awful and I don't deserve her and yeah.." Evan said quickly.

"Evan, you're none of that."

"Why'd you get upset?"

"My mom is just... ugh.."

Evan nodded.

"Okay guys, time for wrap up! I know we got some new people so here's what you do, just stand up and answer all the questions on the board," Karma said.

After most people had gone, it was my turn. I stood up and sighed.

"Name?: Connor.

Age?: Seventeen.

Why I'm Here?: Depression, self harm, anger, and a suicide attempt.

Daily Goal?: I don't know, I just got here.

Any negative thoughts?tt

: Of course.

Any hallucinations?: No."

"Thank you, Connor. You will have a daily goal once you get your folder. You'll have to fill out a paper everyday," Karma said.

"Evan?"

Evan shakily stood up. "My-my name is Evan, I'm sev-seventeen, I'm here for a-a suicide attempt, no daily go-goal or hallucinations, lots of negative thoughts."

Once Evan finished, he quickly sat down. "Okay, it's time for bed," the woman announced.

Evan slowly got up and we went into our room.

We got into our beds and I smiled to myself. For once I had _something, **someone,**_ I wanted to get better for, protect. Evan. I just want to hug him when he's sad, take away the hurt from his life. Call him mine.

A/N

Wow. A lot happened. Is Connor fooling anyone? Will he really get better? I don't know.


	8. The First Morning

**_Trigger Warnings: Self harm thoughts_**

 **Connor's** **POV:** The lights came on and I heard a man say, "Good morning. Fifteen minutes until breakfast." I groaned and got up. I got our hygiene baskets from outside the door.

"Evan, you need to get up. Do you _want_ to **not** be able to **leave the unit**?"

"Huh?" Evan replied, confused and rubbing his eyes.

"Get up and get ready." I handed him his basket and went to grab myself my jeans. I went into the bathroom, got out of my sweatpants and into jeans and started to brush my teeth.

"Connor? C-can I go to the, um, bathroom?"

"Yeah, just go. I'm not gonna watch you. It's what you do in places like this."

"O-oh."

I sighed and left to the day room.

"Do your daily inventory before breakfast, Connor," said the same man from before who handed me the paper and a golf pencil.

I sat down at my table from yesterday and filled out the paper and finished just as Evan came out.

God, I wanted to just... hold him and love him... But, I was supposed to be the "crazy, raged filled, threw a printer at the second grade teacher, Connor Murphy" and it was miserable. Maybe, if I just had a hope he liked me, I could change. For him.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Evan tapping on my shoulder. "Huh?"

"Connor, they're leaving for breakfast."

"I can't go, remember? Not until dinner. Why aren't you going?" I asked.

"I wouldn't con-contract for sa-safety. Why would I tell them if I wanted to hurt my-myself?" Evan said. I nodded.

"Evan, if you don't want to tell them, tell me?"

"I-I... umm.. I can't do that. I'm sorry." Evan got up and grabbed his breakfast, sitting at a different table.

"Connor, do you want some breakfast?" Derek, a tall dark skinned man asked.

"No thanks," I sighed and put my head down.

~ About Twenty Minutes Later ~

 ** _Evan_**

Taylor, Sally, and Lavender all sat with me. I noticed a tall, older boy with blonde hair and a wrap on his arm.

"That means he got _close._ I wish _I_ got close," I thought, unknowingly staring at his arm.

"Are you okay, man?" The boy asked.

"Huh?"

"You're staring at my arm, man."

"Oh. I'm s-so sorry!"

"Y-yeah..." The boy turned away.

"Okay, everyone, let's do morning wrap up. It's the same as last night, but just how you are this morning," Derek said.

Everyone else went and then it was my turn. I got through most of the questions, then I started to cry when I got to why I was here.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." I said as Derek took me to the quiet room.

"What's wrong, Evan?" Derek asked.

"I... I guess it just hasn't sank in... Y-you know... W-what I did..." I explained and Derek nodded.

"It'll be okay. If you need to talk or want to hurt yourself, come talk to someone."

"O-okay..." I said, knowing I wouldn't.

 ** _Author's Note_**

Hello! I'm _so_ sorry I was gone for a while. My depression hit really, really hard for three really bad days and I deleted this app because not even the fluffiest of fluff could cheer me up. But, I feel _so much better!_ I honestly woke up the next day feeling like a whole new person. I saw a new review and felt inspired to come back and work on this story.

I'm going to try to update this weekly, but I go back to school August 7th, so I'm going to be readjusting to it and doing homework. I'm in 8th grade, band, Spanish 1 (a high school class! :), and sadly have gym first period.

Oh! I started an Etsy shop called DreamerGirlArt to help me raise money to go to Washington DC and to help pay for my 8th grade dance costs. I sell handpainted items and would love if you'd check it out.

I also created a meme Instagram account which is lucy_likes_meme_spam. I post pretty much everything I find funny. Musicals, text posts, and more. Check it out if you'd like.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading! Leave a review and ask some hospital questions.


	9. Coping Skills?

Author's Note: This chapter is meant to give you guys some coping skills to try. I know some need them, and I'd love to help!

Connor: "Ugh another stupid group? I don't need any of this shit. It doesn't even help," I thought.

"Okay guys, time for social worker group! I'm Kelley. Today we're talking about coping skills. Who knows what a coping skill is?" asked the tall woman with long, curled black hair.

"A coping skill is something you do to calm yourself down," explained a boy with short, brown hair.

"Exactly Taylor! So, today you're going to be in teams and we'll have a contest to see who can think of the most coping skills without repeating anything. Your table people are your group."

I looked at my table group. Just me and Evan.

"Okay. Go!" the woman proclaimed.

"Hey, Evan. You ready?"

"Huh?" Evan asked, clearly confused.

"For the contest?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah."

"Okay. I'll write everything down. Just say it and I'll write it."

"Okay."

~ 10 Minutes Later~

After the ten minutes, we had a huge list. We were the second group to read our list outloud. I read it outloud, because Evan wasn't prepared.

"Okay, um. Here's what we got.

\- Color

\- Read your favorite book

\- Draw

\- Paint

\- Name types of trees

\- Learn new facts

\- Breathe

\- Sing

\- Listen to music

\- Talk to someone

\- Clean

\- Watch your favorite YouTube videos

\- Watch your favorite animes

\- Watch your favorite movies

\- Watch your favorite shows

\- Paint your nails

\- Write your feelings

\- Write a story

\- Take pictures of your favorite people/things

\- Play with your pet

\- Bake/Cook your favorite food

\- Plant a tree

\- Work on your garden

\- Do volunteer work

\- Go outside

\- Run

\- Walk

\- Play your favorite video or board game

\- Play a sport

\- Hang out with loved ones.

\- Take a shower

\- Take a bubble bath

\- Draw on yourself with washable markers

\- Read comics/manga

\- Brush your teeth

\- Braid someone's hair

\- Pick flowers

\- Do a crossword puzzle

\- Do a word search

\- Do math you're good at

\- Go on positive social media accounts

\- Watch vines

\- Tell yourself positive things

\- Think about other things

\- Look at memes" I read off.

"Great job boys!" The other groups went and we won. Kelley gave us chocolate and the group was over.

"I guess that group wasn't pointless," I said to Evan.

"Yeah-yeah it wasn't. It really helped," Evan said with a smile.

"Yeah, it did," I replied smiling.

 ** _Author's Note_**

Hey guys! Here's another chapter. Sorry I haven't written in a while. School and home has just been a lot lately. I'm going to try to write more as it's a good coping skill for me.

I know a lot of you guys are reading because you can relate to the feelings, so I'm going to try to do some of the helpful group we did in this story.

If you have any mental health/hospital questions, ask on here or on my instagram (lucy_likes_meme_spam) and I'll answer them here. Suggestions are also greatly appreciated!

Your reviews mean so much to me, so please keep sending them! Here's the recent ones I've received!

Via Instagram: "Hi! I came here to tell you that I was reading one of your fanfictions called "You will be found" and I really liked it! I hope that you continue writing it and have a nice day, thanks "

Via FanFiction: "I really shouldn't be reading this, as someone who is self-recovering from depression and self harm and probably shouldn't risk triggers, but I really love this story anyways. Great work!"

Thank you guys so much! 3

 **Please Remember:**

Coping skills are different for everyone and what works for one person may not work for you. The coping skills listed above are not the only ones there are. Please do not give up on coping skills because the first one you try doesn't work. It will take time to find the right ones.


	10. Uno

Evan POV:

"It's been raining for days and it's really calming. I love it. I don't really know how to feel about being here. It's been a few, well five, days. Mom can't come to see me, long nights at work, but I call her every night. I guess it's what I'm used to. She's not home half the time anyways. I just… I feel like a train coming off the track. That's why I'm here I guess. Oh well. I'll write more later," I wrote in my journal with a sigh.

"Evan? You wanna play Uno? We're playing stacks," Connor said to me.

"Oh-oh. Okay. What's stacks?" I replied.

"So, say the color is yellow and you have a yellow and green one. You can play your yellow and green one at the same time. Placing the yellow down first of course," Connor said with a smile.

"Okay," I said and walked to the table where Eli and Cali sat.

We started playing, Connor and I a team and Eli and Cali a team.

As we got further into the game I felt a nudge on my leg. Connor was slipping me a card! I glanced at him and he nodded towards Eli. Once it was my turn, I played it against Eli and we won the game.

We went back to our table and I looked at Connor. "Why Connor?" I asked.

"I just… I don't like Eli. Nobody does. Just let me do what I did and it'll be fun."

"Wh-" Just as I was about to ask why Eli and Ronnie started yelling at each other.

"STOP BEING SO ANNOYING ELI! JUST ADMIT YOU'RE AWFUL!" Ronnie yelled.

"NO, F*K YOU RONNIE!" Eli yelled back.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS!"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!"

"YES! YOU! DID!" Ronnie screamed and kicked the wall.

"Everyone into your rooms!" Mary announced and we all went quickly into them.

I sat on my bed and curled up into a ball, trying to block out the yelling.

"Evan? Are you okay?" Connor asked me.

"Y-yeah. It's just… the loudness… It, um, remind-reminds me of my Dad… leaving…" I said looking down quietly.

"Oh. I'm sorry… You wanna talk about it?"

"P-please no…" I said even quieter.

"Hey, you don't have to Evan. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. C-can we just have this day be over?" I asked.

"Can we go to bed?" Connor called out to a tech.

"Yeah," the tech replied.

I got in my bed and covered up. "Goodnight, Connor."

"Goodnight, Evan."

Author's Note

So a guy getting really mad actually did send us all to our rooms once when I was hospitalized. My roommate and I did squats while we waited for it all to be over. xD The Uno Stacks is from my first hospital stay and a girl did slip me cards so we could beat another girl she hated.

Anyways, like always leave your mental health/hospital questions, reviews and story suggestions! Thank you so much for reading!

Review Shoutout: 9/3/18

"Evanhansenfan:I love this story. I have never been in this situation before but through this story and other media, I have grown to understand it more. I love Dear Evan Hansen and as a fan, while its not very canonical, I like to think of this as an AU. Now because it's obviously not perfect or complete, I'm giving you a 4/5 stars or 80%, which is pretty good. Continue to write and know, YOU WILL BE FOUND! Here are my wishes for you to have a great life. Can't wait for ch. 10. Peace!"


	11. Zoe's Letter

Connor's POV:

"Hey, Connor. Your mom sent you a letter. It says it's from your sister Zoe," Derek said and I went up and grabbed it. I sat back down and opened it up.

"Dear Connor,

How could you do this? Did you think of Mom? Did you think of Dad? Did you think of me? You just…. Connor, when I heard, I acted mad but it really, really hurt. We've always been together, but now we're a million worlds apart. I tried to not care,I really did…. But the thing is, I can't. Connor, I need for you to care about yourself as much as I care about you. Connor, please try to get better. Not for me, not for Mom, but for yourself. Okay, I'm going to end this here, but please think about what I said.

Zoe."

I sat there after reading it, not believing what I read. Maybe Zoe does care. Maybe I should get better.

Author's Note

So, that was a short chapter, but I've just been thinking a lot about how I felt when I found out someone I cared about attempted. And, really how people who care about me felt. Um, yeah.

School's been up and down and I had a bad week, but I'm getting back to it.

Anyways, as always send your mental health / hospital questions and your reviews of this story. Here are the new ones I've gotten:

Anonymous:Thanks. I love this fic. I probably shouldn't be reading it because I've attempted suicide before and I have anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia, but I really like it. it is very accurate, so thank you!

My Response: I'm so glad you enjoy this! I believe that you can get better, and I hope this story will show that as it goes along.

Guest: :o wo

Evan doesn't s-stutter l-like this

he repeats words smh

as somebody who has the same problems as him seeing the musical twice (ha, bootlegs)

he, yeah- he just repeats words?...

My Response: I did shorten this, but thank you so much for the advice! I read the first line from the notification and I got scared to read it. xD But I did and it was a very helpful message.

Hamiltronthelegendarymusical: I love this story and (having depression alot) it makes me think. Still, keep up the good work!

My Response: I'm so happy you love this story! Depression sucks and I hope this story makes you think in a good way. (P.S. I love the username)

A fan:What instrument do you play in band? I'm in a junior high band and I play alto saxophone, but I'm not very good at it.

My Response: I also play the alto saxophone! I'm in 8th grade, and I'm not the best either. All it takes is hard work and dedication. My band director says this a lot: "A good musician will practice until they don't make the mistake, a great musician will practice until they never make the same mistake again."

Percabeth Brason: Hi Wow! I really hope you continue this. It's very well written. Thank you!

My Response: Hi! Thank you so much! I hope you continue to read this.


	12. I'll Fix That

Author's Note: This chapter does have Treebros and some headcanons on their sexualities.

Evan's POV:

We were all sitting around and talking. Some people were showering, others already had, and some were waiting. Lavender, a boy name Cole, a girl named Bri, Connor, me and a girl with pink hair were all talking.

Cole said that he was 15 and still hadn't had his first kiss, Lavender said that it was okay and she hadn't too. Then the girl with pink hair said "I'll fix that," and Lavender had turned pink. I decided to say something too. I told Cole I hadn't had my first kiss either so he shouldn't worry.

Then, the girl with pink hair asked our sexualities saying she was pan. Bri was bi, Cole was straight, Lavender said she was labeless but liked girls guys, Connor was gay, and I said I was bi.

After that, they left to take their showers so it was just me and Connor. Connor looked at me with a smirk. "So, you've never been kissed Evan?" he asked.

"No, is that bad? I'm sorry," I replied quickly.

"It's not bad, Evan. Ya want me to fix that?"

I felt my face turn bright red. "What?"

Connor slightly laughed. "Evan, yes or no?"

With my face still pink, I replied. "Sure? You don't have to. I'm sorry."

"I'll fix it tonight," Connor said with a wink.

I was about to say something when I heard a girl singing loudly. She was a new impatient and was wrapped in a blanket.

She was put in the quiet room so that we could do wrap up. After that, we went to our rooms. Since she was so loud, we were allowed to shut our doors.

Connor shut the door and I sat on my bed. "So, um, how does this work?" I asked.

Connor sat on my bed across from me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Relax, Evan. You wanna slightly tilt your head and just let me start, then you kiss back."

"Okay, sorry," I replied bright red.

Connor smiled and shifted his head slowly leaning in. He started to kiss me and I tried to follow along. I pulled away and moved back.

"I'm sorry. That was bad. I'm sorry," I replied.

"Hey, it was your first time. You did a pretty good job, let's try again," Connor said before leaning in again. I relaxed more this time and followed his lead.

"Good job, Evan," Connor said as we finished. I blushed and gave him a hug. He gave me a quick peck goodnight and then we went to bed.

Author's Note:

So, that took a turn. What do you think? I really like Treebros and have some ideas for the couple after the hospital. Obviously you shouldn't date someone in the hospital, but it does happen.

Now, time for reviews!

Review: Afanofthisfic:Hello, I love your story please continue it! It's amazing!

My Response: Thank you so much!

Review: Shelby:Hi, I really relate to this story so far. I shouldn't have even started reading it because I self harm, have depression and anxiety, and attempted suicide (on multiple occasions). I was just wondering, from what I've read in the author's notes, you went through some tough times, how did you get over it? Again, really enjoying the story! Thank you! -V (Shelby isn't my name, you can address me as V though!)

My Response: I'm glad you can relate, but please stay safe and read the warnings if any for each chapter. Honestly, I'm still not entirely over everything that has happened, but I try to take it day by day and know that I can't change my past. I remind myself that I can only focus on the now and tell myself "Today's going to be a good day and here's why: because today at least you're you and that's enough" all the time. I try to use my coping skills and just stay positive. I'm always here rooting and believing in you, but you've really gotta believe in yourself.

Thank you for reading! As always, leave your thoughts, mental health/hospital questions, or questions for me in the reviews.


	13. Good News

Connor's POV:

"Wake up guys!" Derek said as he turned on the lights. I groaned and rolled out of bed, seeing Evan already up. I grabbed our hygiene baskets and shut the door.

"Good morning, Evan," I said as I grabbed clothes.

"Good morning, Connor," Evan said and we got ready. We did our reports and went to breakfast. After that, it was time for a group - life skills.

"Okay guys, today we're going to talk about proper communication skills," Kamera said. She talked about manners and being polite and asked what we were thinking.

Lavender stood up and said, "I feel like we should talk about this more, not just in here. At school, for some reason, all of these guys feel like they can just say whatever they want to me. Sometimes it's not bad, like saying I look pretty, but other times they say I'm flat or they want to, um, do things to me. And I just…. It's so disgusting and I feel so anxious and like it's my fault I just want to hide and throw up and hurt myself. I just… I hate it I guess."

Then, more girls started agreeing with her. I stood up and said, "My sister, Zoe, has to deal with that too. I don't get why guys do that. It's awful. They've stopped now, but that's because they're scared of me."

Kamera talked and wrapped up the group and I just sat at the table with Evan and Lavender came up to us.

"Hey, thanks for saying that. It made me feel better," she said.

"It's not a big deal. I hate that stuff," I replied.

She smiled at me and we left for activity therapy.

In AT, we had to paint something that inspires us to keep trying. Evan painted a forest, Lavender painted a heart, and I painted Zoe.

"Connor, share with us what you painted and why," said the instructor.

"I painted my sister, because she has always been one of the best people in my life. Lately, we've been a million worlds apart and that's my fault. I really want to fix things. I just don't know how. I feel like she's given up on me half the time," I explained.

"Thank you, Connor. We all believe you can fix relationships, especially with those who love you. You just have to put hard work into it," the instructor said and I smiled.

We did more groups and we went to lunch. I sat with Evan at a table.

"Hey Evan?"

"Yeah?"

"Where do you live?"

"Columbus," Evan answered and I froze up. "What?" Evan asked.

"That's where I live…. Evan, I've gotta tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I thought I recognized you, and I do. You're the adorable boy in my science class that I've had a crush on for months."

Evan turned bright red. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Evan, it's okay. You… you wanna hang out once we get out of here? Maybe… a date?"

Evan's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yes. Really?"

"Of course, Ev."

Evan smiled.

When we got back, our doctor came to talk to us.

"Connor," he called and I went over there.

"Yes?"

"I'm happy to inform you that you will be going home today!"

"What?!"

"Yep! At five."

I stood there in shock and was sent back to my seat.

"What is it?" Evan asked.

"I'm going home today," I told him.

"So am I," he said.

We smiled at each other. "Maybe that date won't be too far away."

Author's Note:

Woah. I'm shook. Okay, so yeah, I'm gonna do like one more chapter for this story. There will be a sequel, but it'll mainly be fluff and them getting better together with some stuff happening. Honestly, I love writing this story, but I feel like it's time to wrap it up. I'm so much farther from this point in my life than when I started writing this. I'm so touched and honored that this little story has helped so many people and I hope it will continue to do so.


	14. Discharged - Final Chapter

Connor smiled at Evan. "God, you're so amazing."

Evan blushed deeply.

"Connor, it's time for you to go," Derek said. Connor hugged Evan and grabbed his bag. He left the unit and went into the Cafeteria into a little side room. His mom waited there.

"Here is your safety plan, your follow up date, and some tips for suicide prevention," Derek said handing Cynthia the papers.

"Thank you for all your help," Cynthia replied as they left the building.

Connor's parents arrived to get him about twenty minutes before Evan's mom showed up. Evan's discharge went the same way.

As soon as Evan got home, he smiled as he saw a text from Connor's numbers.

~ Authors Note ~

Hey guys! Here's the last chapter of this story. There will be a sequel, I just don't know when. Thank you so much for all the love and support on this story and I'll see you in the next one.


	15. UPDATE

I felt like I needed to update this story. I got two emails yesterday or reviews and I realized I should respond. I did start a sequel and I'm going to try to pick it back up.

 **June 2019**

Nobody:So, um. I'm really enjoying this so far! It's very well written. Personally, I've never gone to any extremes, but I have done almost exactly what Connor did at the beginning of this chapter. I want to thank you for getting details right, and for writing this story.

Sincerely,

Me

Thank you so much! I feel like a lot of fanfics/media romanticize suicidal thoughts/suicide and I don't want to show that. I want to show what actually happens. - _Lucy_

 **August 2019:**

Stella:The first DEH song I heard was "You Will Be Found". It popped up in my recommended on YouTube, and I, for whatever reason tapped it. Seconds in a was crying, then it started "you are not alone" they said it over, and over, and over again. I started bawling and started talking to my mom about my depression the next day. I now have the correct medication and savor every happy moment I have. DEH will always have a special place in my heart, and it's stories like this that make me feel less and less alone in this world. I'm sorry for the long vent, but reading stuff like this helps a lot, and I hope you continue to help people who need it through your own experiences.

I hope to see more soon. Bye for now!

I love how DEH really helps people. I'm so proud of you for reaching out and getting better! I plan on becoming a music therapist and I hope to work at a hospital so I can help many people. - _Lucy_

 **February 2020:**

Emma Russell:Bro, you're a Sophomore now. That's so cool. Now I feel super young, being a flipping freshman and all...

I'm actually a freshman too! :) - _Lucy_

 **February 2020:**

From: Guest

:Oh my god. I am so sorry about your mother. That sounds horrible...

God. When I was at a low point last year, I never got to that point, but damn, the only person that knew(holy s***, my phone just auto corrected to their name-) was in the same boat as me and neither of us told a soul. Still won't tell my mom for 5 years tho, don't need anyone else know that recent of an experience, otherwise they'll get all freaky. Try to put me on drugs, or get me counseling, or some s***, even though I'm better now.

Don't apologize. When something as big as a suicide attempt happens, people react in different ways to handle their emotions. I've moved on from it. But, taking medicine, going to therapy/counselling is NOT FREAKY. You have to take care of all parts of yourself, your mental health being one. If you're better now, that's great, but don't be ashamed of the place you once were. Be honest and open to your family, and explain that you're better now. - _Lucy_

 _Life update:_

 _I'm in marching/pep/concert band and play alto sax_

 _I take over my schools gsa(gay straight alliance) next year_

 _I'm in student leaders_

 _I'm in drama and just finished my first play and I had a lead in it!_

 _I turn 15 on February 20 so that's exciting_

 **Thank you for all the love and support on this story and I hope to see you in the sequel**


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